[She doesn't need to be saved. But isn't that what she's been complaining about all along? Hasn't she wanted him to take responsibility for her death? She stays silent and lets it thicken and build before she replies.]
...he listens.
[He understands, he cares. He doesn't run away, like you do.]
[It's instinctive to lash out. To try and hide behind harsh words and indifference. She pauses and lets the silence roll on until she mumbles another reply.]
[Asuka's always been the loudest out of them, the one wonder child who drew all the eyes to her. And Shinji accepted it. She was the brighter one compared to him, demanding and gaining compliments he quietly wished he could have. That was simply the way it was.
He's caught glimpses of her weakness beneath that armor--that one time when he almost kissed her, her fight with Arael--but she's always lashed out whenever he got too close. So he kept his distance.
That was just how it was.]
I don't care if you talk to him. [He mumbles it. It unexpectedly hurts to say.] If it helps you...
Hate you--? [He thinks about the times she's screamed at him and fought with him. Does he hate her?]
... sometimes, when we talk. You're bothersome and rude. [A pause as he thinks about it.] If it makes you uncomfortable... I won't ask. That's common courtesy.
[His answer is instantaneous, almost without thought:] No, that's not what I'm saying--!
[He stops himself before he can stumble into another apology. Bitterness tinges his voice.] We're stuck here.
[His trip to the wastelands accomplished nothing. Running away only brought him into a circle. No matter how much he wished, he couldn't go home (was there ever a home for him?), he couldn't leave Exsilium and its responsibilities, couldn't shut his eyes to Asuka as she was there whenever he took tentative steps into the new world. They were all trapped here, stripped of the only thing that made them valuable. For them, the only escape was to be sent back to their deaths.]
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...he listens.
[He understands, he cares. He doesn't run away, like you do.]
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Does it help?
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[It's instinctive to lash out. To try and hide behind harsh words and indifference. She pauses and lets the silence roll on until she mumbles another reply.]
...yeah. It does.
[She all but admitted that she's weak. To Ikari.
She feels like she's going to throw up.]
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He's caught glimpses of her weakness beneath that armor--that one time when he almost kissed her, her fight with Arael--but she's always lashed out whenever he got too close. So he kept his distance.
That was just how it was.]
I don't care if you talk to him. [He mumbles it. It unexpectedly hurts to say.] If it helps you...
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[Asuka retorts, but it's weak. Then she goes on.]
You're not supposed to know about that. About me.
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I won't talk about it. [That's what Kaworu is for. All he can offer are apologies and not much else.]
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[Her tone is bitter and sarcastic and cutting.]
You hate me already, so why does it matter?
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Hate you--? [He thinks about the times she's screamed at him and fought with him. Does he hate her?]
... sometimes, when we talk. You're bothersome and rude. [A pause as he thinks about it.] If it makes you uncomfortable... I won't ask. That's common courtesy.
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[her tone still has that mocking, bitter ring to it.]
I hate me. Why shouldn't you?
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You'll still be here.
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[There's a little choke in her voice that she can't quite hide.]
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[He stops himself before he can stumble into another apology. Bitterness tinges his voice.] We're stuck here.
[His trip to the wastelands accomplished nothing. Running away only brought him into a circle. No matter how much he wished, he couldn't go home (was there ever a home for him?), he couldn't leave Exsilium and its responsibilities, couldn't shut his eyes to Asuka as she was there whenever he took tentative steps into the new world. They were all trapped here, stripped of the only thing that made them valuable. For them, the only escape was to be sent back to their deaths.]
You and Kaworu, Rei and Toji... all of us...
[His voice dwindles.] We're the last ones.