shinji, you fucker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imusntrunaway) wrote2023-01-02 11:10 pm
imusntrunaway) wrote2023-01-02 11:10 pm
IC >> INBOX (EXSILIUM)
The person you are trying to call is not available. Please leave a message after the beep.
[Beeeeeeeeeeeep.]
The person you are trying to call is not available. Please leave a message after the beep.
[Beeeeeeeeeeeep.]
[Oh what's this it's not a text?? He's too upset for that shit he also sounds very upset because of how hard he's trying not to sound upset]
Ikari.
Ikari. Answer me. Your tablet still connects. You're still here-- right?
Ikari.
Ikari. Answer me. Your tablet still connects. You're still here-- right?
[Oh he didn't expect a text.]
Hey, Ahiru. I've been [Happy, maybe, despite their situation? It's such a weird feeling.] doing well. It's hard to sleep, though...
How about you?
Hey, Ahiru. I've been [Happy, maybe, despite their situation? It's such a weird feeling.] doing well. It's hard to sleep, though...
How about you?
[He can tell there's something wrong the moment he notices it's voice. He doesn't need to listen to the message to get a nervous feeling in his gut (all it does is confirm that there's something off and he already has a vague idea of what's gone on in the back of his head, because on this station there's only two things that could happen, and guiltily he thinks for a split second is it Kaworu again--) but it doesn't sink in yet.]
... Shintaro? Did something happen?
... Shintaro? Did something happen?
[--He's still here. He's not sure why that's a relief because it doesn't change anything about who's not here, and he doesn't feel any calmer but he's at least acting it, as he catches himself before he talks again.]
You're here... I-- No.
No, it's nothing. Sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out--
You're here... I-- No.
No, it's nothing. Sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out--
I think it might be both.
They're fine, too. [A little noisy, but...] They're handling the situation pretty well, actually.
They're fine, too. [A little noisy, but...] They're handling the situation pretty well, actually.
[Don't pry into other people's business. That's what he's told himself again and again. But when it's shoved into his face like this, it's only natural for him to worry.]
... who disappeared? [He asks it quietly.]
... who disappeared? [He asks it quietly.]
[He's never met this Ayano that Shintaro's always talked about, but he knew how close the two were.
Shinji, sitting there with his tablet in his hands, realizes how helpless he is in a situation like this.]
... I'm sorry. [What else can he say to make it hurt less?] She's... probably safer now that she went back.
Shinji, sitting there with his tablet in his hands, realizes how helpless he is in a situation like this.]
... I'm sorry. [What else can he say to make it hurt less?] She's... probably safer now that she went back.
... Haha. [It's mean. Shinji doesn't know so it's mean to say it but he can't help it. He laughs, a little.]
As safe as someone who's already dead can be.
Sorry, I-- I didn't expect her not to pick up, so I wanted to check, to see if the others were still here.
As safe as someone who's already dead can be.
Sorry, I-- I didn't expect her not to pick up, so I wanted to check, to see if the others were still here.
[The small things that Shintaro mentioned about her shifts into perspective now. About how he missed his chance before, how he couldn't leave her on her own-- and Shinji, for once, understands how someone else feels.]
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
[Shintaro pauses. He's not all right, and he hasn't been for years and he doesn't see any "all right"s in the future, either.]
... I'm better than the first time it happened.
... I'm better than the first time it happened.
[It's not a positive answer, not that Shinji was expecting one. When he lost Kaworu everything had plunged downwards. It wouldn't be any surprise if Shintaro was the same. There's a moment of silence on his end before he speaks up again.]
... I bought some fruit before we evacuated. Do you want some? [Do you want to come and talk about it?]
... I bought some fruit before we evacuated. Do you want some? [Do you want to come and talk about it?]
[They've been coping by making fun of him.]
They like to talk. [A lot. Sarcastically. Blithely. Please save him.]
They like to talk. [A lot. Sarcastically. Blithely. Please save him.]
... Yeah.
I haven't had fruits in a few weeks. That'd be nice. [It would be nice to look at someone who doesn't make him think about either of Ayano's disappearances, too. He doesn't like the feeling of using Shinji that nags at the back of his mind again, but if it's being offered, he'd like to take it. He doesn't want to fall back into what happened last time no matter what Erika says about how he deserves to.
He pauses and speaks again, voice a little louder and more steady than earlier.]
Which room were you in, this time?
I haven't had fruits in a few weeks. That'd be nice. [It would be nice to look at someone who doesn't make him think about either of Ayano's disappearances, too. He doesn't like the feeling of using Shinji that nags at the back of his mind again, but if it's being offered, he'd like to take it. He doesn't want to fall back into what happened last time no matter what Erika says about how he deserves to.
He pauses and speaks again, voice a little louder and more steady than earlier.]
Which room were you in, this time?
[He's already getting out of bed to grab the fruits.] 191. Is it close to yours?
Uh... yeah. If you're on the east wing. Which wing are you on?
[Oh. Right.]
I'm on the west wing. We can meet up halfway if you want.
I'm on the west wing. We can meet up halfway if you want.
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