imusntrunaway | IC >> INBOX (EXSILIUM)

[Oh what's this it's not a text?? He's too upset for that shit he also sounds very upset because of how hard he's trying not to sound upset]

Ikari.

Ikari. Answer me. Your tablet still connects. You're still here-- right?

[He can tell there's something wrong the moment he notices it's voice. He doesn't need to listen to the message to get a nervous feeling in his gut (all it does is confirm that there's something off and he already has a vague idea of what's gone on in the back of his head, because on this station there's only two things that could happen, and guiltily he thinks for a split second is it Kaworu again--) but it doesn't sink in yet.]

... Shintaro? Did something happen?

[--He's still here. He's not sure why that's a relief because it doesn't change anything about who's not here, and he doesn't feel any calmer but he's at least acting it, as he catches himself before he talks again.]

You're here... I-- No.

No, it's nothing. Sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out--

[Don't pry into other people's business. That's what he's told himself again and again. But when it's shoved into his face like this, it's only natural for him to worry.]

... who disappeared? [He asks it quietly.]

...

Ayano did.

[He's never met this Ayano that Shintaro's always talked about, but he knew how close the two were.

Shinji, sitting there with his tablet in his hands, realizes how helpless he is in a situation like this.]

... I'm sorry. [What else can he say to make it hurt less?] She's... probably safer now that she went back.

... Haha. [It's mean. Shinji doesn't know so it's mean to say it but he can't help it. He laughs, a little.]

As safe as someone who's already dead can be.

Sorry, I-- I didn't expect her not to pick up, so I wanted to check, to see if the others were still here.

[The small things that Shintaro mentioned about her shifts into perspective now. About how he missed his chance before, how he couldn't leave her on her own-- and Shinji, for once, understands how someone else feels.]

Are you all right?

[Shintaro pauses. He's not all right, and he hasn't been for years and he doesn't see any "all right"s in the future, either.]

... I'm better than the first time it happened.

[It's not a positive answer, not that Shinji was expecting one. When he lost Kaworu everything had plunged downwards. It wouldn't be any surprise if Shintaro was the same. There's a moment of silence on his end before he speaks up again.]

... I bought some fruit before we evacuated. Do you want some? [Do you want to come and talk about it?]

... Yeah.

I haven't had fruits in a few weeks. That'd be nice. [It would be nice to look at someone who doesn't make him think about either of Ayano's disappearances, too. He doesn't like the feeling of using Shinji that nags at the back of his mind again, but if it's being offered, he'd like to take it. He doesn't want to fall back into what happened last time no matter what Erika says about how he deserves to.

He pauses and speaks again, voice a little louder and more steady than earlier.]

Which room were you in, this time?

[He's already getting out of bed to grab the fruits.] 191. Is it close to yours?

Uh... yeah. If you're on the east wing. Which wing are you on?

[Oh. Right.]

I'm on the west wing. We can meet up halfway if you want.

I can make it to your room. Just-- give me a few minutes. I'm not even in my room, so it'll be fine.

Okay.

I'll see you, then.

... Okay. Thanks, Ikari.

[He regrets the decision almost as soon as he closes the tablet. Why did he just agree to meet up with him? He isn't ready to see people. He went to see Kido because it was necessary; he sees Ene and Momo because they're there. But Shinji--? He almost calls to say never mind, he's fine as long as there was an answer.

Aah but -- is he running away, like that? Maybe he just doesn't want to see anyone. Maybe he just wants to be alone, like before. He closes his eyes and sighs, peeling his feet off the floor and making his way to Shinji's apartment. It's too late to back out of the appointment anyway. He will knock on the door quietly.]

[Shintaro told Shinji that he'd introduce him to Ayano, a long time ago. But the chance is gone completely now. He never met the girl, but he can relate for once to how it must feel.

When it happened to him, he only wanted to be alone. Kaworu's death, Rei's disappearances-- both of those threatened to shove Shinji into solitude and out into the vast wasteland outside of Exsilium. In the end, he might only be an annoyance to Shintaro.

It's fine if Shintaro doesn't show up. Shinji would understand. He has no business offering a hand, anyway. It's meddling in affairs to an extent he normally wouldn't.

The knocks are an answer. Shinji stands up, opening the door. A bag of fruit is in one hand, just as he said.]

Shintaro. [A beat as he looks the other boy over.] Um, hello.

[There's tension in his shoulders that he releases when he sees Shinji, but he curls his fingers against his palm and tries not to frown too much.]

Hey... sorry. One of these days I'll give you more warning.

... Sorry. Did you worry?

... I didn't think you'd do anything stupid. [It's an honest response. He offers the bag of fruits.] Here. These are okay with you, right?

[He raises his hands to take the fruits, nodding.] Yeah, they're fine. ... This a lot. You're okay with me taking it?

You'd probably need it more than me. Anyway, I can go on missions to get more...

... You're okay with the missions?

Nothing'd get done if we didn't make them.

There are over one hundred of us. But if you say so.

[He notes to himself that Shinji's definitely a better sort of person than he is.]

IC >> INBOX (EXSILIUM)

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